My Dead Boyfriend
by HyperBeamGO
Summary: Kenny confesed to Kyle that he loved him. But Kyle just didn't feel the same though. But now that Kenny's dead, maybe he'll love him back.
1. Bye Bye Kenny

'I love you.' That's all I had to say right back the day he spoke those words to me.

"Hey Kyle, can I tell you something?"

I turned to look up at Kenny. He wasn't even facing me, but from the side of his face he wore a nervous smile and his cheeks were tinted pink. His body looked tense, as if something was hurting him. But then again it was Kenny. I''m sure whatever it was, would go away by tomorrow.

I nodded giving him the okay to continue to continue.

"Well you see I've had a crush on someone for awhile now. And I don't know how this person feels. And it's weird cause I don't want him to know that I like him."

'Maybe if I wasn't so naive I could have realized what was going on.'

"But I think it's important that I tell him, just so that he knows." He finally turned to look me in the eye.

I gave him a confident smiled. "If your asking for my opinion, then I think you should go for it. Tell him." It was the obvious, but best information I could give. Not from experience. No. Just because I've watched so many chick flicks with Stan. When Shelly would babysit us, she would pop them in. Him and Stan had memorized every scene, every movement, and every line from 50 First Dates because of her.

Kenny nodded his head. "I love you." he shyly.

I grinned. "Yeah. You should go up to him and say it just like that. But with more confidence, and passion." Oh dear lord, I was sounding just like a side character. That's it. When I go home, I'm popping in some action movie, or maybe a porno. A couple hours watching Spider man and Wolverine should clear my head of all those romantic movies.

Kenny frowned and shook his head. "No," but the smile soon returned. "Kyle I love you."

I had stood there like an idiot staring at him. It had taken me awhile to figure out what was really happening. But soon confusion and shock had fallen all over my face. I didn't know how to answer him. It was so sudden and out of the blue. Kenny was one of my best friends. Second to Stan of course. And I didn't want to tell him that I didn't love him back. Even though I didn't love him. Not in that way at least.

What made it worse was my silence was all Kenny needed. Placing a hand on my shoulder he gave me a sad smile. "Hey I understand. It's alright." his smile brightened, but there was sadness and rejection in his eyes.

'Shit how he have made him feel this way?'

Only it wasn't till that night did he rethink everything. All the times when Stan couldn't hang out or when he had ditched him for Wendy. Kenny was there for him to be a replacement. Kenny was always the replacement. But was he the best friend replacement? No, how could he think of Kenny as the replacement? Even during times when he didn't want to hang out with Stan but Kenny?

He did like Kenny. His relationship with Kenny was different then it was with Stan's. It was closer? Even if him and Stan went on more adventures, always stayed at each others sides during tough, and paranormal occasions. Even if him and Stan were best friends since preschool, and they both knew everything about each other; there were somethings that Kyle could never tell Stan, that he had told Kenny.

Cause Kenny was the one person that Kyle knew he could tell, spill and rant to, and Kenny would not tell. He'd listen and never speak about it again. If Kyle felt like crying, Kenny was there to let him use his shoulder and comfort him. If he wanted to rant about something, mainly Cartman related, in three in the morning, Kenny would be the only one who would wake up and and listen to him.

But the question still remained. Did he love Kenny?

When with the other teen he didn't feel speechless. He didn't get flustered. His heart didn't beat any different or his stomach knot. Everything that he was suppose t feel he didn't. He didn't think about the boy 24/7. So if he didn't feel anything for him, why was he feeling guilty and heartbroken?

Kenny's eyes were stuck in his head. Those beautiful blue sad eyes wouldn't leave his mind. He didn't love Kenny but this feeling was bring tears to his eyes. Ho could he have not given him an answer?

Rubbing his eyes he reached over and picked up the phone. Dialing the number quickly he brought it up to his ear hopping someone would answer the phone.

"Hello?" It was Kenny. Good that mean he didn't have to argue with his drunken father just to talk to him.

Inhaling, he cleared his throat so he didn't sound like he was upset what so ever. "Ken, it's Kyle. Listen can we talk?"

"Not now. My cord is on it's last wire, and it could snap anytime soon."

"Alright. Then let's meet up. By the school." It was the only place he knew that they could talk in private at this hour. He didn't feel like being interrupted by anyone.

There was a pause. Shit he hoped that the phone on the other side was still working, and that Kenny had heard him. "Kenny?"

"Yeah I'll meet you there." then the phone dial went on.

Kyle smiled. Hanging up he grabbed his coat and struggled putting it on while running out of his room."Mom! I'll be back!" he shouted running down the stairs while zipping up his coat.

"Bubbie, where are you going?" his mother called out from one of the downstairs room.

Racing over he quickly slipped his shoes on and proceeded out the door. "Out!" he shut the door. Kenny lived closer to the school then he did, so running would get him there faster and not make Kenny wait.

He decided. Even though he didn't feel the same way Kenny felt, he could still give Kenny a chance. And if it doesn't work then they could still remain friends. Or at least that's what he was hopping for.

One of the advantages to living in a small town was everything was a good walking distance. He had made it to town already and there ahead of him was the oh so familiar orange parka.

"Kenny!" he called out making the boy stop in his tracks. Slowly the boy turned to see who had called him out. But the minute that their eyes made contact he smiled.

Kyle was panting but returned the smile letting the teen in front of him know that what he called him out for was good news.

"Ken."

In less then a second the sound of a horn blared through the air. And within that second Kenny no longer stood in front of him. The smile that once graced his face slowly feel and without even realizing he stopped breathing; began to slowly hyperventilate.

Even as the people of the vehicle quickly evacuated from their seats and ran towards the front of the car, he continued to stand there, staring where Kenny stood. That did not just happen. Even if the people were screaming at him to go get help he just stood there frozen.

What he just witnessed, what he had witnessed for years had never effected him before. So why now? Why did he have this sudden urge to cry and vomit where he stood. Maybe cause this time, he knew. He didn't want to, but he knew that this time Kenny wasn't going to be there the next morning.


	2. Insane?

I do not own anything that involves South Park.

* * *

It had been two weeks. And there was still no sign of Kenny's return. Everyone failed to acknowledge that Kenny was even missing. No dead. Only Kyle knew. And what made it worse was it was his fault.

If he hadn't called out to Kenny while he was crossing the street, Kenny would still be alive. Hell if he had only just responded right away to Kenny, when Kenny first confessed to him, he'd be here right now only a few desks away from him. But no, Kenny was dead. And this time he wasn't coming back.

During the time all Kyle could do was cry. He had told people about it, but they didn't help. They all just smiled and told him it wasn't his fault and that Kenny would just return like always. But they were wrong. What did they know? They weren't there to see him die.

Just thinking about it made him replay seeing Kenny's body laying there on the ground. Eyes going dull,skin color fading, and a heartwarming smile with a trail of blood leaking from it. The car had thrown him only a few yards away from where he stood, but what made the whole thing worse was where Kyle stood Kenny's body was still faced towards him, with an arm outstretched as if calling him to him.

Tears began to burn his eyes. He gulped hoping he wouldn't start crying there in class. That's all he needed. For the kids he grew up with calling him names for crying over the loss of someone they refused to be dead.

Crossing his arms over his desk, he leaned his head down to bury his face from the classes view, and to wipe away any tears that might threaten to escape.

Feeling a hand place it's self on his shoulder he peeked an eye up to see Stan staring down at him. He hated that look. Kyle hated it when people gave him that pity look. He didn't want them to feel bad for him, but for Kenny. Why wasn't anyone but him upset over this?

"Hey come on dude. Class is over."

His hand left his shoulder. There were still a few more classes to put up with, but right know he just didn't feel like going to them. Sitting up he collected his books and stood up.

"I'm bailing for the rest of the day." he muttered and squeezed past Stan and his desk.

"Hey man, I know your upset, but let it go." Stan told him. Kyle stopped in his tracks and turned his upper half to look at his friend. "Kenny's coming back. It's just taking longer this time. Deal with it."

If Stan thought this was going to help cheer him up then he was wrong. It only pissed Kyle off even more to know that he believed that Kenny was coming back. And worse but to command him to get over it. Did he honestly believe that just by saying that he would suddenly forget about Kenny's death and go on living in denial? Well that wasn't about to happen any time soon.

"Whatever." he didn't feel like arguing. He just wanted to go home, lie in bed, and stare at his ceiling like he's done so so many times this week.

And that's what he did. Luckily his mother wasn't home to bitch at him for leaving school early. Not like it would have mattered though. He would have just drowned out the yelling and walked up to his room with her following him, still ranting, until he just the door in her face. Even then she'd probably continue screaming at him.

Laying down he stared up at his ceiling. His eye did a quick scan over it before his eyes began to burn. He squeezed them shut and let out a small sob before turning over on his side and curling up into fetal position and continued to cry. Why he missed Kenny now more then ever was beyond him. All he knew was he missed him. Right now he'd give anything to just see Kenny again. But it wasn't going to happen. Kenny was dead, and the thought made him cry only harder until he fell asleep.

He wasn't sure what time it was, only that it was dark now. And cold. Really, really fucking cold. Sitting u he notice his coat was off and the covers that now lay around his waist were over him. Mainly meaning his mom saw him and tucked him in.

He couldn't help but smile at that. Even though at times; and he will admit, she was a bitch, she was still a kind hearted loving mother. But damn was it cold. Throwing the covers off he walked over to his desk where his jacket hung from the chair. Grabbing it he swung it around him and walked out of his room. If anything the reason it was so cold in the house was because his dad turned the thermometer down again. All just to save money on the heating bill. 'Pssh.' Who was he kidding. They barely even got a heating bill.

Walking up to it he was about to turn the dial when he saw that it was already at 69 degrees. Which was odd since it normally hung at 60, or lower. Ike must have beaten him to it already. Shrugging he decided to add one more to it. Just to make sure the heat would kick in. And to his satisfactory he heard it and smiled. Maybe now he could go to bed without worrying about freezing to death.

But to his dismay, when he walked back into his bedroom it was still freezing. Gritting his teeth he thought about shouting in annoyance, but decided not to. Instead he inhaled deeply and exhaled. The heat was on, his room would warm up.

So he threw his jacket on the floor and crawled back into his bed. He was tired and just wanted to sleep before having to go back to school tomorrow. Curling up he brought the comforter up to his chin and closed his eyes hoping he'd go back to sleep soon.

He could feel it. Himself drifting into sleep. But he was stuck. It was one of those moments where your asleep but you can hear everything around you. Only he couldn't hear anything. Instead he could feel it. It was like ice was touching his face. Icy fingers gently caressing his cheek.

The more he thought of it the more his eyelids threatened to open. But he didn't want to open them. He just wanted to sleep. But how could he when something was touching him. That's it. Opening his eyes he gave a sharp glare at what he honestly expected to be nothing. An he was right. There was nothing there but his dark cold room.

Huffing his cheeks he sighed and turned over. Honestly what does a guy have to do to get some sleep?

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

His eyes shot open. There was someone actually here with him? Right next to him laying in his bed? He could see their outline. Heavily breathing now he saw the face begin to clear. Opening his mouth he let out a horrified scream.

The face of his dead friend frightened him so bad he had launched himself backwards off of his bed onto the floor. He could see Kenny's figure sit up on his bed and stare down at him.

"Kyle?"

It was Kenny. It was really him. But that was impossible. Kenny was dead. He wasn't alive. Kyle saw him die. And if did come back to life, why was he here, in his room? This was just way to much for him to register

"Kyle what's wrong?" Kenny crawled over to the edge and reached down for him.

'No, NO.' Kyle's head was screaming. But he couldn't move only watch. Before he could release another ear piercing scream, light flooded his room. Whipping his head around, he saw his parents standing in the doorway staring down at there son frightened and concerned. But the minute he looked back to his bed, he saw it empty. 'Where's Kenny?' he thought looking around.

"Kyle honey!" his mother ran over and kneeled down to place her hands on his shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Kyle stared at his bed a moment longer before turning to clutch onto his mothers robe. "Mom, Mom! I saw him! Kenny was here!" he shouted pointing to his bed.

"Kenny?" his dad questioned the name? "Your friend who departed?"

"Yeah!" Kyle moved out of his mothers clutches and stood up pointing to his bed. "He was right there next to me!" Shit! Did he just sound crazy?

"Oh my." his mother stood up and walked over to his dad. "Gerald, what are we going to do?" she questioned glancing from him to Kyle.

His father just sighed and looked into Kyles eyes. "Look son. Kenny is dead. And I know your still upset about that, but you have to understand. He's dead. He's not coming back." his father broke contact and sighed before looking back at him. "If you want you can skip school tomorrow. Try to relax. Okay son?"

Kyle only stared at them in disbelif. They didn't believe him. But was he going crazy? Did he maybe just imagine Kenny next to him? Maybe? This was all so confusing he wanted to cry again. But not in front of his parents.

Nodding he turned away from them. "Yeah thanks. Sorry I disturbed you." he apologized while biting back tears.

"It's alright. Good night Kyle." his mother answered turning off the lights and closing the door.

The minute it closed he quickly wiped his eyes. Was he going insane? After all Kenny was dead. How could he have been right there next to him?

"Kyle?"

His heart skipped a beat. Moving his hands away from his eyes he looked up to see Kenny was there again. Only this time standing in front of him.

"Kyle I'm sorry." he apologized.

Kyle didn't know what to do. His breath was stuck in his throat. He felt frozen, and if his eyes widen anymore he was afraid his eyes might pop out. Was he really seeing this? Was he really seeing Kenny right in front of him? Or was he just imagining all this? Yeah that's it he was imagining all of this. But then why was Kenny's arms wrapping around his shoulders?

They felt like ice. They moved around till one icy grip went behind his neck and the other was on the back of his head. As much as Kyle wanted to move, he couldn't. Even as Kenny moved down closer and closer to his face he stood there like a frozen child. Unsure and confused on what to do, until it was to late. Instead of a warm, soft feeling against his lips, it felt as if cold air was pushing down, kissing his lips.


	3. Kyle's Feelings

I don't own south Park

* * *

Inhale, Exhale. Inhale Exhale. For about ten minutes now Kyle did nothing but blow into and out of a paper bag. Watching it expand when he breathed out, and shrivel up when he inhaled.

Hey, it was better then screaming his lungs out. Which he still was tempt to do since his deceased friend was sitting right next to him on the bed, watching him breath in and out of the bag like an idiot.

Taking the bag away from his mouth Kyle finally took a deep breathe of fresh air and let it out. Glancing over at his friend, who, how he didn't notice before, was transparent, was simply sitting there with a shy smile on his face. Which confused Kyle greatly, since well, if he were dead, he'd see no reason to smile. 'Unless he was smiling because of that kiss.' And that thought only made Kyle blush. He still couldn't believe that Kenny had kissed him. Out of the blue, and while Kyle was going through, what he thought was surely a mixture of a panick attack and a sign of going mentally insane.

"So..." shit how was he even suppose to start this conversation? Sure he could start with the numerous questions that were running through his head, or he could sit there in silence staring at Kenny, and be awkward. Ah screw it. He was just going to be blunt.

"So," yeah that was a wonderful way to start a conversation. "are you like haunting me?" he asked blushing. Not out of embarrassment, but because he felt stupid asking.

Kenny's smile fell and he turned to stare at the ground. Kyle regreted asking when he saw the frown. "Honestly I don't know." he stayed silent for a moment and looked back at Kyle. Lifting his arm he stretched it out towards Kyle.

Kyle was unsure if he should move away or continue to sit there. He only watched as Kenny's hand got closer and closer till it went into his arm, making his whole body shiver from the cold touch, and feeling it enter him.

Kenny quickly brought his hand back and examined it. "This is the first time this has happened to me. I haven't been to hell yet." his fist clenched. "I don't understand why I've woken up still on earth, and without my body." he choked at the last word.

Kyle only stared as Kenny sat there, hands folded in his lap, shoulders shaking. Was he crying? Could a ghost actually shed tears?

"Kyle. What's going on?" he asked. "Why am I walking without my body?"

Kyle wasn't sure how to answer. He didn't know. Hell he didn't even know why Kenny would die just about everyday and come back to life. He could only sit back and watch as it would happen. And even know all he could do was sit there and watch as his friend sat there crying. But that's not what he wanted to do. He wanted to help. But how?

"Hey Ken?" Kenny didn't answer. "Can I touch you?"

He stayed silent but slowly his head nodded. Kyle schooched closer to Kenny and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He was surprised to see that he could actually feel him. Only him and the air that surrounded him was cold. But that didn't matter right now. Knowing he could get a grip on Kenny, he pulled the upset boy into him and just wrapped his arms around him, trying to comfort him anyway possible.

Kenny had gripped his shirt and pulled himself closer to Kyle. The sound of him sobbing made Kyle tear up as well. Kenny was crying and it was all his fault. Biting his lip he tried bringing Kenny closer only to feel that his arms began to go through him. He could hold Kenny anymore.

"Kenny? I can't hold you." he said as tears slid sown his cheeks.

"That's okay." he answered. "Just let me stay here." he whispered.

Kyle let his arms fall to his side. This was all his fault. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he stared down at the crying ghost. All he wanted was to comfort him, and he couldn't. All he could do was shed tears for Kenny since Kenny couldn't.

---------------

"Kenny? Why are you so cold?"

"What do you mean?"

Kyle reached over and touched Kenny's hand. Ever since they both stopped crying, all they did for the rest of the night, was lay in his bed, staring at his ceiling. At first they didn't say anything but the Kyle started asking him questions. He wanted to know why Kenny was here. Why he hadn't returned to his body. So far all he got was silence and questions that Kenny couldn't answer because he didn't even know. Kyle had learned though that when Kenny was focused enough Kyle could touch him. That's why when Kenny was crying he couldn't touch him anymore.

"Well I'm dead. So I can't produce heat." He felt Kenny's hand grip onto Kyles.

"My turn. Why did you call me that night?" he asked.

Kyle frowned. He knew this question was bound to come up. His fault, all his fault. Those words ran through his head non stop. Sighing he turned his head to look at Kenny, surprised to see that Kenny was already staring at him. Blushing he looked down at their hands.

"Honestly, I wanted to tell you that I don't love you." he saw Kenny's fingers tighten on his hand. Looking up he saw Kenny's eyes holding hope that the answer he was going to give him wasn't going to be the same answer as before. It pained Kyle to see that look. Rolling over on his side he snuggled into Kenny's icy form. "But that doesn't mean I want to try. Kenny I want to love you! I want to think about you all the time, I want my heart to skip beats in my chest when your name is mentioned. And every time I see you I want to stop breathing." he felt tears burning his eyes again.

Shivering he felt Kenny wrap and arm around him. Looking up with tears in his eyes he saw Kenny was frowning down at him.

"Kyle, I don't want you to ever stop breathing." Kenny replied.

Just then Kyle felt it. For that split second he felt his heart stop after hearing the comment. But it didn't make him happy. It only made him sadder. He didn't want Kenny's ghost to be here laying next to him. He wanted the actual Kenny. The Kenny he could hold and comfort.

"Kyle, I'm going to come back to life." he brought his face close to Kyle's. There foreheads touching, making Kyle shiver more from the chill, but also making a light blush appear on his cheeks. "And when I do, I want you to tell me everything you just said, and I promise I'll make everything you want to feel, come true. Got it." he smiled warmly.

Kyle returned the smile. There was a tugging feeling in the back of his head that was screaming at him that Kenny wasn't coming back. But hearing Kenny say he was coming back made him ignore that feeling. He felt Kenny's words were believable, and that he could trust his word.

Snuggling more into the freezing form, he nodded. "Alright I will. I promise."

"Good. Now you should sleep." he whispered.

Kyle nodded suddenly feeling sleepy. Even though he'd rather stay up with Kenny, he couldn't deny the waves of sleep that were coming over him. Feeling warmer, he peeked an eye open to see Kenny sitting against the wall staring at him.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked reaching his arm out to him.

Kenny only smiled. "No. I have nowhere to go really." He extended hs arm and gently hel Kyle's hand. "Now seriously. Sleep."

And just like that, Kyle closed his eye and drifted off not letting go of Kenny's hand.

* * *

So normally I don't continue things. Just letting some of you know. But I hav a feeling that I'm actually going to complete this. Yeah.


	4. A plan?

I don't own South Park. Trey and Matt Parker do. I just hope those are the right names!

* * *

"Your really going to go to school and leave me here?" Kenny asked Kyle.

Kyle was transporting all the books on his desk into his backpack. Once he was done he zipped it up, swung it over his shoulder and turned to smile at the ghost boy, sitting on his bed.

"Can I come with you to school?" Kenny asked gliding over to Kyle.

Kyle had to watch cause it was so hard to believe that as a ghost, Kenny was incredibly graceful looking the way he would move all around.

"Um, I don't know. I mean you are kinda dead."

"So?" he smiled and floated around Kyle to wrap his arms around him.

How was Kyle suppose to explain that Kenny couldn't come? But then again, even as a ghost he had all the right to continue learning... or play horrible pranks on the other students.

"Kenny?" he had a feeling that's exactly what Kenny was going to do?

"Yes?" he sang.

"What do you plan on doing exactly at school?"

"Why Kyle what ever do you mean?" He floated over to hang above Kyle and look down at the all knowing boy.

Kyle could only frown. If Kenny came to school, there was a slight chance he wasn't going to learn anything. "Oh, you know exactly what I mean! Who do you plan on terrorizing?"

"Kyle! Who are you talking to?" His mother screamed from down stairs.

He looked to the door and shouted that he was simply talking to himself. Hell he didn't even realize he had been shouting.

"Well alright. You better hurry the bus is on it's way."

Kyle nodded and made his way over to the door only to have Kenny appear in front of him. "Oh please, please, please!" he begged.

Kenny tried his best to give him those puppy dog eyes, but Kyle was never one to fall for them. So instead of wasting anymore breath on the boy, he walked through him. Chills ran through his entire body, but he ignored them and continued to make his way out of the room and into the hall.

Surprisingly Kenny didn't follow Kyle down the stairs. Only when he opened the door to exit his house did he see Kenny, on his knees, hands folding and looking up at him. Instead of begging he let out a few whimpers, which were actually signs of begging. Shutting the door Kyle walked around the ghost and down the driveway.

"Kyle! Come on! Have a heart!" Kenny shouted.

"I know your plans. Your not coming." He made sure to make it sound like it was final.

"Can I at least hold your hand to the bus stop?"

Now that made him stop. He couldn't help but think that was the cutest thing he's ever heard and really how could he say no to that? Plus it was the bus stop only. There was nothing for him to worry about. Right?

"You hesitated! That means yes!" Kenny suddenly appeared at his side. Looking down Kyle watched as Kenny forced Kyle to lace fingers with his. "Shall we?" Kenny asked flashing one of his best smiles.

Kyle only nodded and began walking with Kenny at his side. And of course he had to admit, it was nice. How could Kyle not have known that being with Kenny was like this? No, better yet whey couldn't he just say yes when Kenny was alive? But who cares. Kenny always comes back. And when he does, Kyle plans on being there, and loving Kenny for real.

Looking down at the ground he couldn't help but blush at the thought. He was going to love Kenny? He was admitting to himself that he was falling in love with the ghost. The thought alone made a smile creep up on his lips. Today was definitely going to be a good day.

"Khyle! You little Jew bitch!"

And just like that, the good day was ruined.

"What they hell are you doing?" Cartmans voice screamed from the bus stop.

Kyle started at him confused to see Stan was giving his the same expression. Looking over to his side, he saw Kenny wasn't there. And he had his arm out like he was holding someone hand.

Definitely a sign that said, 'Hey! This kid is weird!'

Blushing he moved it up and down. "Nothing!" he yelled putting on a nervous smile. "I uh, hit it really hard this morning while getting ready, and it feels better when it's not loose against my side."

They both just raised an eyebrow. Kyle had to wonder if they were going to question his sudden act of occ.

But to his relief Stan muttered an 'ouch dude', and they both continued to look out for the bus.

Kyle sighed in relief and quickly glanced around looking for and sign of Kenny. And to his disappointment there wasn't any.

'Oh well. Maybe he went back to my house.' Kyle thought solemnly. The sudden regret of telling him he couldn't go to school hit him, and he wished he would have just said okay.

"So dude," Stan nudged Kyle's arm. "Wanna hang today? We can play guitar hero, or just chill." Stan suggested smiling.

Normally Kyle would have said yes. But since he was, 'sorta' dating a ghost who was haunting his house... or bedroom, he'd rather go home. Specially since poor Kenny was going to be alone for six hours.

"Sorry. I'm just going to go home and do some homework." Kyle gave him a small smile.

Stan frowned and looked down the street where the bus had come into view. "You know, you can't be depressed over Kenny's death forever." that comment was a little unexpected. "Your going to become sick if you keep staying like this."

The bus pulled up in front of them. Cartman was the first to get. Mainly to grab any seat that wasn't next to Wendy.

See just last year Stan and Wendy had broken up for the last time. It had been official that they weren't going to see each other anymore. Mainly because Stan just had enough of it. But what was the shocking part of the event was Wendy went right to Cartman. And unlike Stan and Wendy Cartman can actually keep Wendy without her think of breaking up with him.

Once Kyle stepped foot on the bus he saw Wendy had evacuated her original seat to go and sit with Cartman. Stan took that seat and Kyle filed in with him.

"Hey you sure you don't want to hang out at my house?" Stan repeated his question.

Again, he really didn't want to leave Kenny at his house all alone. But thinking from Stan's point of view, they haven't hung out a day since Kenny's death. Which was a new record for them. Normally they would separate for a day only.

"Sorry but I really just wanna go home after school."

"Yeah, whatever man." He grumbled and slouched down in his seat.

Of course Kyle felt bad. All he's done for the last few weeks was blow Stan off.

"Hey how about you come to my house instead?"

"Really?" Stan asked looking over at him with a raised eyebrow.

'Wow has it really been that long?' Kyle thought. "Yeah. I got my Xbox fixed. Plus I have something to I want to show you." he added the last part by mistake.

But now he had Stan's full attention. "Oh really? What?"

"I'll show you when you come over."

* * *

"LE GASP"! What does Kyle want to show Stan? Gee I wonder? Note my sarcasm.


	5. Bonding

Sout Park is owned by Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

* * *

"I invited Stan to come over for a bit." Kyle announced walking in his house.

"Oh Stanley coming over?" she asked walking out of the kitchen, while wiping her hands on a rag. "Is he staying for dinner also?"

"I don't know. Maybe." he answered unenthusiastically as he marched up the stairs towards his room.

"Hey Kenny!" Kyle greeted opening the door only be welcomed with an empty bedroom. "Kenny?" he questioned walking in to find his room was oddly warm. Which told him that Kenny hasn't been in the room for quite some time now.

But that didn't mean he wasn't around right? Kyle wasn't sick. Was he? No! He had seen Kenny. He had to be around somewhere.

Throwing his stuff down he began searching his room for any sign that Kenny was still there. Cause where else would Kenny go? Where else would he go?

Going down on his hands and knees he scanned under his bed, hoping maybe Kenny would jump out at him. Sadly there was nothing. "Kenny. Where are you?" he called out.

"Kyle?"

'Fuck!' Kyle thought jumping up to see Stan staring at him curiously. It was really a stare that said he was debating if he wanted to stay or not.

"Why are you calling for Kenny, under your bed?"

'Think fast, think fast. Got it!' "Ike got a hamster." he announced.

Stan still had the look but an eyebrow lifted letting him know he was listening to what else Kyle had to say.

"A few weeks ago. It's a little white and orange one, and there's a ring of brown fur going around it's face. Seriously if you look at it, it will remind you of Kenny, and it was only natural that we named it Kenny." Could this be the best lie he's ever told, or the most bullshitted lie he's ever told?

"But Ike left the cage open this morning so now he's running around shitting on everything." that last part would hopefully make it all seem true.

Stan just through his bag down and walked in looking around. "Do you want me to help you look for it?" he asked.

'Oh thank god he escaped that.' "No it's okay. I'll have Craig come over later. Maybe he can find him."

Stan cracked a smile, and let out a chuckle. "Yeah probably." He walked over to Kyle and collapsed lazily on his bed. "So what did you want to show me?"

This was probably one of the most disappointing moments of Kyle's life. Here he was going to show Stan he wasn't crazy, and his proof had gone and vanished.

'Just great.' Kyle thought and sighed. Getting off the ground he walked over to his desk. Opening a drawer he reached in, grabbed a DVD, and flung it a Stan.

Of course being a football star of the school, Stan caught it with ease. Once his eyes laid on it, Kyle was surprised his eyes didn't fall out with how wide they had gotten, and a huge grin formed on his face.

"Shit dude! When did this come out?" Stan shouted overly excited. He was clutching onto the case with both hands and holding it close to his chest.

Kyle just shrugged. "I found it in my dad's drawer. It came out a few months ago but they only made a small number of the copies. Apparently Backdoor sluts 11 was too hardcore for most viewers who followed the series." he explained walking over and sitting next to Stan.

"It's said that within the first 10 minutes of the movie, you'll have already cum your pants without even touching yourself."

Stan's beam was as bright as ever, but quickly turned into a darker smile. "Wanna watch it?"

"What? NO!" Kyle shouted blushing. "Ike's downstairs! We can't watch it while he's here?"

Stan frowned and hugged the case into him. "But Kyle! I'm getting a hard on just by looking at the cover!" he whined and leaned over to Kyle. "Please, please, can we watch it? I'll be quiet?" he brought out his puppy dog eyes and pouted his lip as best as he could.

Kyle just stared at him. "I said no. And quiet doing what?"

The puppy eyes left and Stan just rolled his eyes while sitting up straight. He lowered the DVD, and began swinging it slightly by it's corner, as if tempting Kyle to watch it. "What else would I be doing while watching this?"

Kyle just followed the movement of the case. Honestly he wasn't sur- oh wait. Now he understood.

"You got to be kidding me."

Stan only giggled. "Wow, that took you awhile. Don't tell me you've never masturbated to a porno before."

He began playing with the case. Throwing it up in the air and catching it. He was ready to run home and watch it. But who can blame him. It was one of the greatest porno's ever created in the history of porno's. Or at least for the time being.

Kyle just sat there silently. How do you answer that? Yeah sure there were times when he thought about it, but he normally went to take a cold shower instead. Masturbation had never once crossed his mind.

Stan took note in Kyle's silenced and stopped to stare at his unease friend. Before he could even ask Kyle what was wrong, he guessed it all on his own.

"Oh shit dude!" Stan shouted.

Kyle's face flared up and he shushed Stan.

Stan grinned and giggled. But he did lower his voice. "Dude. You've never once masturbated?" he questioned.

Kyle glared and gritted his teeth. "We're seventeen Stan! Don't you think we're a little too mature now to be touching ourselves?" Kyle hissed.

"No." Short and simple. The best kind of answer anyone could ever give anyone. Kyle just rolled his eyes and placed his beat red face into his hands. "Come one dude, it's not that embarrassing. Me and Craig do it all the time."

Did he just hear right? Kyle's head shot up and stared at his friend in disbelief. Did Stan just tell him that he and Craig? Were doing horrible, sinful things with each other? What else didn't Kyle know about that was involving his best friend!

"Wait you and Craig do what?"

Now it was Stan's turn to blush. He just gave a nervous smile and suddenly the rug became very interesting. "Well yeah. Me and him get together some times and well we watch porn together, and well, jack off."

Silence. What do you do in a situation where you learn that your best friend, and someone you never really got along with, practically do it together, without you knowing. And what was making the situation worse was Kyle was curious to know about how this event between the two started.

"So, how did you and Craig, you know?" Wow. Could this situation be any more awkward?

"Well you see," yep. It just became more awkward, and it was Stan's fault. Hell, it seemed like he'd been waiting for Kyle to ask him to tell the story. "Craig was mad at Tweek, and he just wanted to chill with someone who wouldn't nag him about Tweek. He invited me over, we throw a girls gone wild video in, next thing you know Craig whips it out."

Behold. The most blunt story Kyle has ever heard. There was no shame or signs of embarrassment on his face, anywhere. Where happened to morals? When did they die?

"I asked him what the hell he was doing, but he just flipped me off and told me to just deal with it. Next thing I know, I see him every once in awhile and normally we just, well, I don't know that we are." he shrugged and looked over at Kyle to see what his reaction to all this would be.

Kyle just sat there blushing, while taking everything Stan just told him, in. And apparently it was making Stan nervous, since he looked away and gave a nervous laugh.

"Oh hey look at the time!" Stan suddenly pointed to the clock. "4:58. Hey, my mom's making dinner and she kinda wanted me home by 5. So it's cool if I burrow this right?" he held up the DVD. Kyle just stared and nodded. "Cool. I'll see you tomorrow at the bus stop, kay?" He was saying this all real fast.

"We don't have school tomorrow." Kyle blankly replied.

Stan paused and gave a slight blush. Suddenly the awkwardness had turned into a weird tension. And it didn't feel like anything they were going to say, was going to make it go away."Oh. Well do you want to hang out tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure, if you want to."

Stan just grinned. "Cool! I'll come over sometime before Terrance and Philp. We can watch some of their new episodes then."

"Sure. I haven't been watching them in awhile so you can fill me in."

"Alright, well see ya'." And with that said, Stan walked out. "Hey Ike. Sorry about Kenny." he heard Stan say and watched as Ike walked past his room with a confused look on his face.

Kyle just sighed. Seventeen year of living in South Park, and that was probably one of the weirdest moments of his life.

"You've never masturbated?"

Kyle whipped around while letting out a small terrified shriek, he suddenly lost his balance and fell out of his bed, and filled the room with a loud thud.

"I think that's seriously cute." Kenny said peaking over the edge of the bed to stare down at the confused red head, while flashing him a toothy smile.

Kyle had almost forgotten Kenny was a ghost. And that he was sort of haunting, slash, semi going out. But more importantly he now had a bunch of questions to ask the ghost boy. Like where was he? And how long had he been in his room? And why he never bothered making an appearance in front of him or Stan.

But that could wait for a minute. Smiling up at the ghost, Kyle quickly scurried up into a sitting position. "Kenny! Where were you?" Kyle asked grinning.

Kenny's grin grew. "I'm glad you missed me. Now back to the important subject. "You've never masturbated?"

Kyle just frowned and began blushing.

"Kyle!" Kenny began giggling. He reached over and ruffled Kyle's hair. "That's so cute! Was I going to be your first then?"

"Kenny!" That was it! Kyle was done having this conversation carry out any longer.

* * *

WOAH! I updated. Actually this was a shit update. Sorry guys. Maybe something exciting will happen next chapter.


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